Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Never-Ending Parent

This is taken from a favorite blog: Magical Childhood

Sometimes it's hard to be a good parent.
Sometimes you wonder why you're not like others who make themselves the priority, who are stern and unyielding or who let everybody else take care of their kids.
Sometimes you envy them their time, their space, their full night's sleep.
Sometimes you start doubting yourself and wondering if you really are just crazy, being this kind of parent in this kind of world.

Your house is noisy and full of chaos and you wonder if it will last forever.

I have a secret. If you keep this up...

It will.

Think if it.

When you get up at 3 a.m. because your baby cries, think of the time when he's a teenager and calls at 3 a.m. to say he needs a ride instead of getting in the car with his drunk friends because he knows he can be honest with you and that he can count on you.

When you take the time explain 'why' for the hundredth time today wondering if you will ever get a moment's peach and quiet. Think of the days when your daughter is grown and on her own but still calls because she loves your conversations.

When you discount all the well-meaning people who tell you to let your baby cry and you go to him, hold him and comfort him anyway. Think ahead to the times when he'll be a strong secure, independent kid and those people say "I don't know how you were blessed with such an easy child."

When you nurse your daughter and hold her close, spoiling her with all that love and care. Think of the time when you'll over hear her tell a friend 'my mom and I have always been close.'

When the house is full of noise, mess and chaos. Think of the days when the kids are grown, and it will start all over with your grandchildren because your family is so bonded that everybody still gathers at your loving home.

No, if you keep this up it will never change. Your children will be in your life forever.

And honey, you'll love the noise.

Alicia Bayer

A great (and crazy) life

Last night the kids were driving each other - and me - crazy. Finally after the bickering had escalated they were both sent to their rooms to relax and cool down. It had been a long day of camp, swimming and friends and they needed a break from everything (including each other). But it got me to thinking...

Motherhood is exhausting. It's a feast or famine enterprise where we work tirelessly with no breaks for years at a time. At some point, though, if we do our jobs right, it's done. This is going to end and while they will always love us and need us, this job we're doing now is temporary.

I know towards the end of my life (should I get lucky enough to get old), the thing I will miss most is being a mom: rocking a baby, comforting a child, knowing all the answers, being someone's superhero, making it better.

I'm all done with babies (unless we win the lottery in which case I told Isabel we'd adopt twin boys just for her). I'm aware that Nick is growing up, leaving his little boy years behind. And Isabel is turning into a young lady before my eyes - faster than I'd like sometimes. But I'm also glad that they still like to hold my hand, cuddle on the couch and have me read aloud to them.

So when they start driving me, and everyone around them, crazy I take a breath, take a break and remember I have a crazy life, but I'll miss it when it's over. Even with the fighting and the mayhem, it's a great life. These are my babies. This is my one and only wild and wonderful time of motherhood.

Someday my house will be quiet and clean. What fun will that be? Who needs quiet and clean? There are times I crave it but at the end of the day, I have my whole life to have a clean and quiet house. The clock is ticking much faster for how long I have to build lego ships, bake cookies, read books aloud, color, give piggyback rides, have girl talk, cuddle and all of those other wonderful blessings of parenthood.

If I could go back and offer a word of advice to myself when I had Isabel the message would be Life is short. Get over the small stuff and love the heck out of your kids while you have them, whether they make you crazy or not!